Can’t think of a title (Norway Cruise)

So why start? Because I have to keep occupied, apparently, I’m to be busy so that I don’t waste away both physically or mentally. In my defense when it comes to physical prowess, if you’ve looked at the very few pictures on the site – say no more, and as for intellectual capacity -it took twenty minutes to think that phrase up – nuff said.

Face it, I’m just a person who has found he can type a bit and string together a few words that join up.

On the other hand, my support staff has loads of capacity. D1 qualified nurse – d2 teacher – d3 hr person and landowner/farmer (not sure of the term in Aus.) – d4 super clever 2 masters and a ba (look at dad, his ba stands for b….r all), son 1 – water hygiene specialist and treatment professional and s2 – well he went to college, awarded pupil of the year in business studies, water hygiene risk assessor, water hygiene and chemical cleaning specialist, Warhammer figure painter – superb at that and just recently web page designer.  What qualifications has the old man – 4 GCEs – English Lan., maths, physics and chemistry. Not a jot against the kids – must have got the brains from the better half of both. 

There are more as the generations build there’s more water treatment specialists, aero-engineer, veterinary nurse the list goes on and on. All that said I must not forget one more – let’s call him J.  J and s2 complain that the ancient and venerable one fails to recognise their talents, that said the second generation are loaded with brains – I’m beginning to doubt myself now.  I want to mention with some pride that J has qualified recently as no.1 cement mixer (poor soul was forgotten in the previous patio blog). To add to that he is also qualified as a technician(qualification before Paramedic)  I am very proud of J for the hard work he put in to attain the above mentioned.

Now I’ve mentioned you J stop whining in your mum’s ear and next time talk to me (Smiling when typing)

It’s hard to always suss people, you never know what you’ll come up against. It’s not just family, it feels like the whole world throws up the unexpected whenever it feels like it.

As you may have gathered, I have retained over the years stacks and stacks of junk information – about all sorts of topics.  Half it don’t relate, the other half is so, so tenuous that it takes a child’s imagination to understand it and get the link (apologies to those out there who know just where I’m coming from and can relate to the joke? please)

When we went on our Norway fjord cruise one of the excursions was to visit a home that has historic links with the uk and also offered a waffle breakfast as part of the tour -the Rose Garden (House I think – memory’s gone – put him down). Needless to say, the offer of waffles clinched it for us – there were other attraction on the tour but it was raining so hard you could hardly see out the coach window. We did see three huge swords made for a special event but don’t ask.

What has all this to do with unexpected occurrences? Well,’ are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin’ (Picture book – BBC 1950s I think).  After the wonderful waffles we were given playtime, I mean free time to explore the area ‘be back in 15 minutes’,  it was only a small place. Over the road (watch out for traffic driving on the wrong side) was and undoubtedly still is an antique and collectables shop. Stood outside the shop is a six foot (2 metres) troll carved out of a tree trunk – I immediately check the size of my rucksack – no too small, and then d4 bag -  arhh! Still too small.

All of a sudden following the disappointment of these pathetic sized bags the thought came to me ‘steal it, but do it in small pieces. I relay this sudden plan to d4. ‘calm down dad you’ll never get it on the coach let alone on the ship – it’s TOO BIG.

Wave upon wave of disappointment came over me – what to do? Can I live without Trolls?  Hey! I am the man with fairies at the bottom of his garden. I decided to venture into the emporium on the lookout for you know what!  After minutes of fruitless searching I find a small party of trolls (must be slaves, they’re being sold ).  I secretly size up the group and decide that there is one who I would be proud to have as leader of the ----- say no more.

So all tourist like I ask the cost ‘ is that in krone and pounds?’ what a div! a hundred must be krone (14.5 to the pound) making it about 7 quid – that’s more like it!  ‘I’ll take it please.’  I haven’t told you about the store keeper have I? 

She was a lady of more mature years at the time, dusting thimbles, and sported an expression so stern, it’s no wonder there were only four trolls in the place.  When I handed over my prospective purchase the look – well.  So with every ounce of courage I could muster I took my phone out of the bag, turned it to the photos and selected the group showing my fairies in the garden.

THE CHANGE WAS AMAZING. I had expected the Norwegian equivalent of ‘grow up ‘but was I ever mistaken. There followed a 10-minute conversation between mr. no Norwegian and mrs. yes English. 

When she looked at the pictures her face softened, there was a smile appearing in her eyes. She and I became eternal friends with her asking to come over and see the garden. We parted lifelong friends and I will never forget how that wonderful lady changed some of my less than generous criticisms of the way people present themselves – old saying I know but ‘never judge a book etc.’

Do you know? It’s lunch time and I am hungry now and if I don’t eat things will just have to start tomorrow.